FATHER AND SON...

Funny Nepali Jokes

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later : 
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!!

 FUNNY NEPALI JOKES

एउटा गोरो मान्छे थियो , जब उस्को छोरो जन्म्यो त्यो कालो न कालो । उ आफ्नो स्वास्नीको मा गयो र सोध्यो :

"हैन म पनि गोरो तिमी पनि गोरी छोरो चाँही किन यस्तो कालो ?

स्वास्नी : डार्लिङ, म पनि Hot तिमी पनि Hot , बच्चा जल्यो होला नि ।
एउटा बच्चा एउटा किताब एकदम ध्यान दिएर पढि रहेको थियो जसको शिर्षक थियो " बच्चाहरुको पालन पोषण कसरी गर्ने "
आमा : हैन तैले यो किताब किन पढ्दै छस ?
छोरो : म यो जान्न चाहन्छु कि मेरो पालन पोषण राम्रो सँग भई रहेको छ कि छैन भनेर ।

BABY SITTING

 Funny Nepali Jokes

A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.
One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.
At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"

STUDENT IN AIRPORT

Funny Neapli Jokes

A student was flying back home and reach to the airport counter and speaks to the conuter officer:

Haku: Sir, here is my passport and the ticket. 
Officer: Ok,its allright may i check you laugage.
Haku: Ok here it is.But I would like to send my green suitcase to Hawaii and my red suitcase to London.
Officer: Looking confuse, I'm sorry we cannot do that?
Haku: Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because that is what exactly you did to my luggage last year.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 

AAMA RA CHORA

Funny Nepali Jokes

Boy: Hi darling k xa?

Girl: Ko ho? Boy: Timro pagal premi Jaanu

Grl: Ta harke ho?

Boy: Ho... Timilai kasari tha vo?

Grl: Ta Chandane bahun ko xora hos ni?

Boy: Ho tara kasari tha vo?

Grl: Ta Gothbare Jetha ko Naati hos?

Boy: Ho...ho.... Kasari tha vo vandaixu?

Grl: "Arey khate ma teri aama hu, Aafnai ghar ma phone garera kaha gaza tandai xas? Ghar matra aaija na..janeki xu tolai!! :D :P

Rajesh Hamal Joke

Funny Nepali Jokes

Ek din aauta mancha perfium lina nepal ko sabai vanda tholo pasal ma gaya 6. Teha tyo mancha le sabai perfium try garyo tra uslai kunai pani man parena taha rajesh hamal pani perfium kinana gayako raha6 tyo man6a rajesh ko aaghadi jada teslai eak dam suganda aayo tyo man6 le rajesh lai sodyo rajesh dai tapai le kun perfium lagaunu vayako rajesh musu musu hasdai vanchan ara vai yo kaha mero perfium ko suganda ho ra yo mero ta pad ko ganda po ho ta.

Funny Jokes doctor and pandit

Nepali funny Jokes

एक पण्डित बाजेलाई
झाडा पखालाले च्यापेछ..
ओखति लिने समयमा
डाक्टरलाई सोधेछन्..”के के
कुरामा ध्यान दिन
पर्ला डाक्टर साव ?”
डाक्टरः “जोडले शंख नफुक्नु होला..”

Funny Nepali Jokes(Rajesh Hamal)

राजेश दाईलाई अस्ती सुटिङ गर्दा तिर्ख लगेछ । तर सुटिङ स्पटमा पानी नै रहेनछ । दाईले नजिकैको नदीमा गएर पानी खानु भएछ, पानी खानासाथ नदीहरुमा पानीको जलस्थर एक्कासी घटेछ ..... त्यसै कारणले गर्दा लोडशेडिङ बढेको हो रे । दाईलाई सुसु आयो भने त ठुलो बाढी आउछ कि भनेर वातावरण मन्त्री टेनसनमा हुनुहुन्छ रे ।

Funny tourist jokes

Nepali Funny Jokes

एक जना टुरिस्टलाइ जंगलमा डुल्न जादा दिसा लागेछ र हत्तपत्त दिसा गरेर सिस्नाको पातले पुसेछ उसलाई सिस्नोले मर्ने गरि पोलेछ, तेस्पछी दगुर्दै आफ्ना साथीहरुलाई भनेछ ओहो नेपालको झारपातमा पनि current हुदो रहेछ

Funny Jokes about a girl and a boy

Funny Nepali Jokes

Boy: म ४ वर्षको भएँ, तँ ?
Girl: म पनि ४ वर्षकी भएँ !
Boy: त्यसोभए हिँड्न मसँग, किन लाज मानेकी ?
Girl: (लजाउँदै): कहाँ ?
Boy: पोलियो थोपा खान !

Mom and daughter funny jokes

Funny Nepali Jokes

Mom:Who is the hard-working student in your class. 
Son: I ma mom.
Mom: How?
Son : All my friends sit on the bench and read but I always stand on it and read.

Teacher and student

Funny Nepali Jokes 

Teacher : Ram why don't you like maths?
Ram : Because maths has only problems and problems.

A man does a family planning

Funny Nepali Jokes

एक व्यक्तिले फेमीली प्लानिङको अप्रेशन गरायो । एक वर्ष पछि फेरी उसको घरमा छोरा पैदा भयो । ऊ दिक्क भयो र डराएर डाक्टरकोमा गयो र भन्न लाग्यो: "डाक्टर साहेब, तपाईले मेरो अप्रेशन गर्नु भएको थियो तर पनि यो वच्चा कसरी पैदा भयो ?" डाक्टरले भन्यो: मैले अप्रेशन तिम्रो मात्र गरेको थिए , सारा गाँउलेको होइन् ।

The funny joke about husband and wife

Nepali Funny Jokes

लोग्ने : तिमीसँग बिहे गरेर मलाई एकदम फाईदा भएको छ ।
स्वास्नी : ( खुशी हुँदै ) हो र कसरी नि ?
लोग्ने : मलाई मैले गरेको पाप को सजाए म जिउदो हुँदै पाई रहेको छु नि त ।

Husband scares his wife with a gun shot.

Funny Nepali Jokes

Son makes a funny nepali jokes when he fail.

Nepali Funny Jokes

बाउ:  हेर् छोरा! तँ यसपाली पनि परिक्षामा फेल भइस् भने मलाई बाउ नभन्नु! बुझिस् । 

भोली पल्ट रिजल्ट आएछ…………… 
बाउ:  ए छोरा! तेरो रिजल्ट के भयो भन् त ? 
छोरा:  ह्या धन बहादुर सोल्टा! जिस्किन नआउ न भन्या आफुलाई यहाँ कस्तो Tension भै’राछ..

Funny Boys in Prostitute

Two funny nepali boys

Two men went 2 a call-girl.
1st went in and came out n said “hoina my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said “U R right ur wife is much better.”  

Three funny Nepali Boys

Nepali Funny Jokes

३ जना गफाडी बच्चाहरु गफगर्दा
पहिलो बच्चा:-यार हाम्रो बा ले हलो जोत्यो भने धर्तिनै फाट्छ यार।
दोस्रो बच्चा:- तेरो बाउ त के हो र हाम्रो बा ले त
प्लेन उडायो भने आकास नै फाट्छ्।
अनि तेस्रो बच्चा:- तिमीहरुको बाउ त के हो र, हाम्रो बा ले त झन् पादयो भने कट्टुनै फाट्छ।

Funny Jokes of Dhurmus in Party

Nepali Funny Jokes

Dhurmus lai sahar ma kasaile party ma bolayecha
plate ma spoon ra tissue paper dekhecha ani tissue paper lai pani khane kura bhanthanecha
ekchin ma euta manche le tyhi plate uthayo
Dhurmus chichaudai dai tyo nakhanus kehi swad chaina tyesma

Nepali funny jokes about husband and wife

 Nepali funny jokes...

Husband was sick and lying on the bed, so he asked his wife.
Will you marry again if i died all of a sudden.
Wife: No ofcourse not, how can you say that?
Husband: Then whom you gonna stay with??
Wife : I will stay with my sister for the rest of my life.
now you tell me if i died with whom you gonna stay with.
Husband : Me too i will adjust with your sister for the rest of my life.

DHOTI RA BACCHA NEPALI JOKES

Funny Nepali Jokes

बच्चा (धोती पसलेसँग): अंकल ! गोरो बनाउने क्रीम छ ?
धोती पसले: छ !
बच्चा: तेसो भए लगाउने गर् न साले ! दिनदिनै तर्साउँछ !! 

BHAUJU nepali jokes made her being embrassed

Nepali Funny Jokes

२ जना साथी हरु गफ गर्दै थिए ।

पहिलो साथी (केटीलाई देखाउदै)- हेर त क्या sexy माल जादै छ

दोश्रो साथी- अ साँच्चि माल भन्दा याद आयो ,भाउजुको हालखबर के छ नि

Manoj Gajurel Funny nepali jokes

Funny nepali jokes - Manoj Gajurel 

Do not mess with law student.

Funny Nepali Jokes

A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!”
All the students in the library stared at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the
girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed
right?"
The guy responded with a
loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!"
...and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears; “I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"

Donkey trying his owner daughter

TWO DONKEY- funny nepali jokes

एउटा गधाले अर्को गधालाई आफ्नो दुख पोख्दै भन्छ...
पहिलो गधा : यार मेरो मालिकले मलाई सधैं कुट्ने गर्छ ।
दोश्रो गधा : त्यसो भए  भागेर जान त ! किन त्येसको मा बसिरको त अझै     
पहिलो गधा : भागेर त जान्थे तर यहाँ भबिस्य राम्रो देखेर भाग्न मन छैन यार !!!
दोश्रो गधा : भबिस्य राम्रो छ रे तर कसरि ??
पहिलो गधा : मालिकको एउटी राम्री छोरी छे अनि छोरीले कहिले काही  केही बदमासी गरे धेरै बदमासी गर्यौ भने ते रो  बिहे गधा सँग गरिदिन्छु भन्छ  बस !!यही आशामा बसेको छु यार....

Priest Fucks a girl

 PRIEST AND THE GIRL - funny nepali jokes

Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest : "What have you done my child?"
Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest : "Why did you call  him a son of a bitch?"
Girl : "Because he touched my hand."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he touched my breast."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a sonof a bitch."
Girl : "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of abitch."
Girl : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest : "Like this?" (she stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl : "YES FATHER, YES
FATHER, YES
FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "But father,he had AIDS!"
Priest : "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

A Student and Comdom

Funny Nepali Jokes

शिक्षक : हामीले लाम्खुट्टेहरु जन्मिन बाट रोक्नु पर्छ ।
विद्यार्थी : त्यो त हुन नै सक्दैन ।
शिक्षक : किन ?
विद्यार्थी : लाम्खुट्टेहरुले लगाउने तेत्रो सानो कन्डम त बन्नै सक्दैन सर !!!

Funny Jokes of wife with his husband.

HUSBAND AND WIFE- funny nepali jokes

श्रीमती : सुन्नुहोश न हजुर, एउटा कुरा भनौ ?
श्रीमान : भन न नि पियारी के कुरो हो र ?
श्रीमती: हजुर रिसाउनु  त हुदैन नि ?
श्रीमान : रिसाउदिन, भन न पियारी ..
श्रीमती : कुट्ने पो हो कि ?
श्रीमान:  कुट्दिन.. कुट्दिन ... भन न के कुरा हो ?
श्रीमती: (डराउदै) ..म दुई जिउ कि यानी Pregnant छु
श्रीमान: ( खुशी हुँदै ) यो त खुशी को कुरा हो तर तिमी किन डराईरहेकी थियौ ?
श्रीमती: कलेजको टाइममा मैले यही कुरा बुवालाई   भन्दा  धेरै गाली अनी कुटाइ खाएकि  थिए त्यसैले नि हजुर …

Student making fun of Teacher

Funny Nepali Jokes

स्कुलको एउटा बिल्डिङग मा आगो लागेछ ।
स्कुलको सबै बच्चा टाढा बाट हेर्दै “ल अब स्कुल आउनु परेन” भन्दै खुशी भईरहेका थिए
तर त्यही बच्चाहरुको भिडमा एउटा बच्चा उदास थियो त्यो देखेर एउटा
टिचरले  सोधेछ :- बाबु तिमी किन उदास छौ ? अरु  सबै त खुशी भईराखेका  छन  त ! ?
बिथार्थी  :बिल्डिङग मा आगो लागेर के गर्नु सर तपाईं त जिउदै हुनुहुन्छ नि !!

Nepali Taxi driver make funny Joke comedy.

Funny Nepali Jokes 

 

Husband scares his wife with gun shoot.

Funny Nepali Jokes

माग्ने : ओ सुन्दरी, अन्धो छु , पाँच रुपयाँ दिनुहोस ।
पति.... पत्नी सँग :  देउ देउ, तिमीलाई सुन्दरी देख्ने यो अवस्य पनि अन्धो नै होला ।

Funny Jokes on Dhoti

Funny Nepali Jokes

American:- We first landed in Moon
Russian:- We first landed in Venus
Dhoti:- We first landed inSun :)
American:- You cant. Its too hot...there
Dhoti:- So what? We landed at Night :) 

 के निच्च परेर हासेछस ओए धोती मुजी...

Funny Nepali Jokes on Prakash Ojha.

 Funny Nepali Jokes

बोका ले आफ्नो तपस्या गरेको देखेर महादेव प्रकट भएर सोध्छन
महादेव : म तिम्रो तपस्या देखेर प्रसन्न भए भन तिमी के चाहन्छौ ?
बोका : प्रभु मलाई एउटा खोर दिनु ।
महादेव : अनि तिम्रो पुरानो खोर के भयो त ?
बोका : प्रभु त्यो त प्रकाश ओझाले भात्काइदियो

Funny Nepali jokes of a Bihari and American.

 Funny nepali jokes

Ek palta auta american chaina bata nepal hudai america farkadai rahe6, tetikaima uslai window bata hand nikalnu man lage6 ra usle hand bahira nikale6,,,tetikaima uslai chisoo feel vaye6,,ani usle soche6 nepal ko himal(mount everest) aye6 vanera,,ek6in ma feri hand nikale6 halka tato feel vaye6,,ani soche6 tarai aye6 vanera,,,,kehi chin pachi feri hand bahira nikale6 ani hand vitra lada ta usle lagako ring nai gayab,,,ani rishaudai vane6 sala dhoti ko thau bihar (INDIA) po aaye6,,,!! lolz

The funny joke about husband and wife

लोग्ने : तिमीसँग बिहे गरेर मलाई एकदम फाईदा भएको छ ।
स्वास्नी : ( खुशी हुँदै ) हो र कसरी नि ?
लोग्ने : मलाई मैले गरेको पाप को सजाए म जिउदो हुँदै पाई रहेको छु नि त ।

BHAUJU nepali jokes made her being embrassed

२ जना साथी हरु गफ गर्दै थिए ।

पहिलो साथी (केटीलाई देखाउदै)- हेर त क्या sexy माल जादै छ

दोश्रो साथी- अ साँच्चि माल भन्दा याद आयो ,भाउजुको हालखबर के छ नि

Funny nepali soldier

विदेशमा भएको लाहुरेलाई उसको प्रेमिकाले छोडपत्र पठाएको र भएको फोटो फिर्ता गर्न भनि चिठ्ठी लेखेकोमा दुखी र निराश थियो।। तर केटा पनि के कम उसले भएको सबै फोटो जम्मा गर्यो र लेख्यो: “मायालु प्रिय, मैले तिंमी कुन चाहिँ हो भनेर चिन्न सकिन.... त्यसैले कृपया तिम्रो फोटो राख र अरु चाहिँ फिर्ता गरिदेउँ।।।”

Sere "I love You"

Funny Neplai Jokes

शेरेले एउटी केटीलाई I Love You भनेछ

केटीले एक झापड हानेर भनी- "के भनिस् ?"

शेरे(रुँदै): जब सुन्दै सुनिनस् भने झापड किन हानिस् ?"

Funny joke and moral of crow

Funny Nepali Jokes

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Two Funny cows

Nepali Jokes

The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “ I'm learning a foreign language.

Ram Hanuman making funny jokes of Ravan

Funny Nepali Jokes with ram and Ravan

रावण :राम ‘ब्रो, चुरोट छ होला?’
राम: ‘छैन यार, सरि’
हनुमान, ‘प्रभु, हजुरसंग त भर्खरसम्म एक बट्टा चुरोट भए जस्तो लाग्याथ्यो, यति चांडै भ्याउनु भो?’
राम ‘चुप लागेर बस न यार, सालेका दस-दसवटा टाउका छन्, कसरी बाँडेर सकिन्छ'

Haku kale jokes with Gabbar.

Nepali Funny Jokes

Gabbar: थाहा छैन दरि-जुँगा भन्दा कपाल किन छिटो फुल्छ हो ?
Haku: धत लाटा कपाल भन्दा दारि-जुँगा १३/१४ वर्ष कान्छो हुन्छ भनेर ?

Funny Rajesh Hamal jokes with Bill gates.

Nepali Funny Jokes

Bill gates (फुर्ती लाउदै) : यदी बिहान म आफ्नो car मा घरबाट हिंडे भने बेलुका सम्म पनि आफ्नो पुरै property घुम्न भ्याउदिन …… राजेश दाई (हाँस्दै) : म सँग पनि पहिला त्यस्तै थोत्रो car थियो, मैले त बेची दिए :P